Musk Tweet Scores $128,000 In Hat Sales For The Boring Company

OCT 19 2017 BY DOMENICK YONEY 14

Secret plan to fund tunneling effort revealed!

Elon Musk got a lot of criticism a while back when he proposed digging a vast network of tunnels, ostensibly for a hyperloop system, connecting New York, D.C., Baltimore, and Philadelphia. This despite the fact that he already set up The Boring Company for this effort, which already has experience digging beneath L.A. It seems some have concerns that the multi-billionaire entrepreneur might have trouble raising the funds for the venture. As if.

After careful calculations by the staff here at InsideEVs, and with the help of some independent consultants (not really), we’ve determined Mr. Iron Man will need about $2 trillion to fulfill his mole goals. And now, we’ve learned how he will raise those funds: hats.

Taking a page from Team Fortress 2, a video game Musk is a self-admitted fan of (mea culpa: medic4lyfe), he’s offering hats for sale. Not just any hats, of course, but promotional head pieces bearing The Boring Company logo, as designed by J.J. Abrams. (No, seriously. it was designed by J.J. Abrams, a guy well known for making TV shows, and a couple movies.)

Now, to some, this might seem a little far fetched. We hear you. Like, who wants a stupid hat to validate their love of Boring?  There are other ways to go through life. Going hatless, for instance. Also, drunk. But we digress.

Put aside your doubts, people. The plan is working. In less than two days time, Musk has, according to him, already sold a remarkable 6,400 one-size-fits-all hats emblazoned with that aforementioned logo at $20 a pop. That’s a gross haul of $128,000!!! Now, we understand shipping and handling will come out of this figure, and the 5,000th purchaser was awarded a second hat free, but it’s obvious that this secret financing plan now come to light is working. After permits are acquired from the hundreds of principalities affected by the tunneling work, digging will indubitably commence.

Before you know it, you will find yourself at a hyperloop ticket kiosk, your coiff covered by a stylish black cap bearing The Boring Company logo, buying a ticket from Philadelphia to Baltimore for a special Halloween event involving readings from Edgar Allan Poe. And to that future you, we say, “Enjoy the ride,” and “Nice hat!”

Get a Boring Hat of your own here.

As Promised, Free Hat!

(As a reminder, if you need more Boring talk in your life, we have a hand-crafted thread on the InsideEVs Forum just for you!)

Source: Twitter

Categories: General

Tags: ,

Leave a Reply

14 Comments on "Musk Tweet Scores $128,000 In Hat Sales For The Boring Company"

newest oldest most voted

Now he’s selling hats too?

The similarities to a certain very unpopular politician increase.

At this point, I’d welcome a “Make America Boring Again” hat; I’m tired of living in “exciting times.”

I think I could go for that too.

George Bush looks better and better.
Can we do a switcher-ro?

Ain’t that the truth.

Remember the good old days of “No Drama”?

He wears many hats, may as well sell a few.

I got mine

I think the logo should have had something like a tunnel in it, maybe connecting the two O’s. Like this.

I like that. Plus,*A* Boring Company would have been more apropos (imho), and made for a better initialism/acronym.

Nice!

I added it to The Boring Company thread over on the Forum.

http://www.insideevsforum.com/community/index.php?threads/the-boring-company.131/#post-701

It also would have been interesting/different if they had put an actual hole in the hat where the “O” was. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a hat like that.

The hat is pretty boring too.

Maybe selling more SpaceX items will help fund the Mars stuff.
It seems increasingly clear that a large part of what Elon is doing might be like beta testing for his plans on Mars.
Boring tunnels would be very important on Mars, helps with mining for resources, get through mountains, underground tunnels make great vaults for spare resources in event of major event which wipes out production, makes great radiation sheilding during a solar storm. Also, Hyperloop’s could be built between cities, and/or outposts, a martian Hyperloop does not even need a vacuum tunnel(not within the first 75 years of operation, at which point man-made heating of glaciers will have increased atmospheric pressure to 4 times it’s current level).