Vital Public Service Announcement: Your Model 3 Does Not Love You

DEC 9 2018 BY WADE MALONE 28

It’s not you, it’s the Model 3

This past week, my wife and I were at a Tesla Gallery where she took the Tesla Model 3 for a test drive ahead of her purchase. The experience went well and she absolutely adored the car. I was eventually able to convince her to give me a few minutes behind the wheel as well. So generous of her. But that’s not what this vital public service announcement is about.

As I was driving the car back to the gallery, I noticed a pair of young men taking turns bending over the rear of another Model 3. Standing next to them was a Tesla employee looking thoroughly confused while watching something on his phone. I initially assumed they were checking out the width of the vehicle. Or perhaps they were examining the usable trunk space. So I thought nothing of it and parked our car two stalls over.

Our gallery associate then began to show us some additional features of the OS and navigation we had asked about. At some point during his demonstration, I looked into the rear-view mirror and saw the group was now standing behind our test drive vehicle. They seemed to be wrapping their arms around the rear of our car. At this point I had a pretty good idea of what was going on.

Tesla Model 3

Friends don’t let friends hug Teslas

When we got out of the car, I looked back at them and grinned.

“You are probably wondering why we’re hugging the car.” One of them said to us as we exited, “Well we saw a video that if you hug the car just right, a secret port opens. It shows a beating heart. We can’t seem to get it to work.”

A week or two prior a post had been going around the web that the Model 3 had a secret pulsing “heart” easter egg. This could supposedly be found by wrapping your arms around the car to give it a “hug.” I had to be the bearer of bad news. “Yeah, I saw it too.” I told him, “It’s fake… the Model 3 has no heart.”

I could see the disappointment on his face. But hopefully I helped save him any future embarrassment. In fact, this was not the first person I had to tell this to. A friend of mine had sent me a picture of the alleged heart port about a week prior, telling me to give the car a hug for him once we picked up ours.

I’m not surprised people took the post seriously. Tesla is frequently playful in this way by including fun software or hidden modes on their vehicles. But software and games are one thing. Adding a motorized port onto every Model 3 just for a gag about the Model 3 having a pulsing heart? Not likely to ever happen.

If for some reason you still don’t believe me, check out the video above by teslaOS.

Also, you absolutely can’t charge your EV by putting it in the microwave. I don’t think that one has gone around yet. But I wanted to nip it in the bud now.

Categories: Tesla, Test Drives, Videos

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28 Comments on "Vital Public Service Announcement: Your Model 3 Does Not Love You"

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Hm… I wonder if Tesla could implement a camera based hug-dector and display a heart on the center screen…

They probably could if they wanted to! 🙂

Have you Hugged Your Tesla Today ? .. **

No but I saw several Tesla’s hugging the road 😜

You won’t have this problem with other EV, especially not with humorless GM and lack of any easter egg. At least SparkEV changed the temperature randomly from C to F back to C, no such humor with Bolt.

Why can’t Tesla be more like that nice young boy down the street, General Motors? 🙂 I tell you, that Tesla is a trouble maker.

Tesla sure is a trouble maker. They are destroying the gasser neighborhood!

My old Eagle Vision used to have a snare drum track play when it started up in the cold. That must have been an Easter egg…or piston slap, not sure.

Thanks the PSA Wade. Not that I would have been THAT gullible, hopefully, but now for sure I won’t. And for the record, I most definitely do ❤️ my Model 3. Best car I’ve ever owned.

It’s already come up with local owners. Sad that people think things they see on Youtube are always real. What isn’t widely known is “disco mode” on the Model S charge ring. I do think that’s been disabled.

Disco Easter egg works on the Model 3. I tried it a few weeks ago.

We do it for you, dearest readers. The Model 3 may not have a heart, but InsideEVs does.

Maybe Try Hugging the Front & Let Us Know How That Works Out …. lmao ..* 🙂 *..

Old boy hugging the car from the back looks like he’s mounting the car. Definitely the next level of fanboy.

Doggy Style ….lmao .. * 🙂 *

Thankfully no hot exhaust pipe.

I just tried hugging the front of a Leaf charging at a Tim Hortons and now I just have one phone call I can make but I’m sending a message here now to say – “don’t do it in public”.

Do it In The Privacy of your Own Garage ! * lol….. *> 🙂 <*

Reminds me of a prank e-mail, with an attached photo, which was making the rounds some years back. It told you to put your face close to the monitor, which would scan your face and present you with a picture of the scan. After several seconds the displayed picture would suddenly change to something intended to startle you.

Sometimes pranks can be fun, if they’re not mean-spirited. Other times they’re just dumb or even cruel. I would hesitate to place this prank into any of those categories, but doubtless others have more definite opinions.

Boot! A trunk is what the Rich people on the Queen Mary had their wardrobes in. A hood is what Lil’ Red Riding Hood wore as she caroused the countryside looking for Alice’s Rabbit hole. cheers

This coming from someone who thinks the word “lieutenant” is pronounced “leftenant”, and that the word “jaguar” has three syllables! 😉

“The English and Americans are two peoples divided by a common language.” — attributed to George Bernard Shaw and others

Trunk to us… Boot to you ❗️

🤔

The reason it didn’t work for the guy in the video is that he was wearing too much clothes for the car to sense it was being hugged. The zip-up was blocking it from working, and the pants were too thick and bulky.

The only way to really check it is to keep taking off layers of clothes until the sensors pick up the hug. If it isn’t working for you, get your spouse or significant other repeat the same steps.

Seriously.

Clearly the footage is flipped around.

Model 3 doesn’t charge on both sides.

(:Side Note: Thanks for the ninja edit moderator:)

Ahem – well, my Tesla Roadster LOVED me – I had the car all spiffied up, all its tires brand new, and its front and rear tie-rods replaced prior to trading it in where I got such a good price for it; a Texas Millionaire bought the car because he was so impressed with it, even though it did have 46,000 miles on it. I’m glad it found another Happy Home where it felt loved.

The car was basically a SNOW BIRD that preferred being run in southern states since although it had no problem with me, it (being a convertible with a REAL RAG TOP) really preferred Sunnier locales.

The only reason I could think of for Tesla to do this was for adding another charge port in the future. I knew it was BS, but hugged my Model 3’s butt anyway just to be sure. 😛

With all these people hugging their Teslas, the trees are going to get jealous and Teslas drive under trees all the time. …doesn’t sound like a good situation IMHO.

you can’t charge your EV by putting it in the microwave, but you can charging it while towing and braking to recuperate.
not recommended, tho.