CAN THE MODEL ≡ TRUNK FIT OUR FANTASIES?

It’s no wonder the US is a repeat gold medalist in the 500-meter worry. We’ve shifted seamlessly from range anxiety to space anxiety. Some people are bummed that the Model ≡ has a trunk instead of a hatch. The payoffs, of course, are copious rear seating and a panoramic rear window that almost nobody on earth has experienced yet. But regardless of the rewards, some people feel just plain robbed, imprisoned, by that trunk — and the frunk be damned. George Carlin, anyone?

Sure, some folks may have a legit beef because they regularly carry a large, essential item that simply won’t fit in a trunk, even with a pass-through to the rear seats. But TeslaMondo thinks most complainers find it vogue to bemoan a restriction — any restriction — on an allegedly “full” lifestyle.

Before TeslaMondo writes any more about this trunk issue, it’s time for a quick check on the context. First, Model ≡ is obviously a home run, so second-guessing any part of it is moot. Second, a crossover based on the III platform is warming up in the on-deck circle. It might be warming up for quite some time given the response to the ≡, but still . . .

Back to the issue. This comes down to America’s uneconomical way of life. We waste space, period. The best example? The average American home size grows while our space needs shrink:

  1. Family size is not growing.
  2. Elaborate computer work stations are getting replaced by laptops, tablets or even smartphones.
  3. Entertainment centers stuffed with VCRs, DVDs, CDs etc. are getting replaced by wall-mounted wafers.
  4. Families don’t eat meals together anymore, so kitchens and dining rooms do nothing but enshrine previous generations. They’re Brady Bunch fantasies.
We need less living space than we had while growing up, but insist on more. Apartments? Same thing. We’re never satisfied. A teensy apartment in the US is gigantic elsewhere. And even these bigger living spaces don’t pass muster. We’re overflowing with absolutely essential stuff that ends up in off-site storage, an industry that can’t grow fast enough.

*Video of Tesla Model 3 trunk starting at 3:30

Naturally, we drag this superfluity into our cars. We overestimate the amount of stuff we need to take with us. And then we compound the error by overestimating the space required for that stuff. TeslaMondo speaks from two decades of auto dealership experience. When people trade in their old cars, they have no idea what’s in their trunks or why it’s all there. But somehow it all needs to move into the new car.

When we weigh our car purchases, we weigh our lives. It’s a humbling self-assessment. Rather than face a reality that doesn’t measure up to the adventurism pushed by TV ads, we tend to overshoot our travel range, our entourage and our “gear.” If we were dogs, we’d be a tiny breed that doesn’t roam very far and needs very little paraphernalia, but barks constantly for a longer leash and a bigger doghouse.

Hence our range anxiety and space anxiety. It’s a notable irony that the Model ≡, which embodies Tesla’s hard-fought economy of scale, must now overcome some people’s ineconomy of space. What, the word “ineconomy” doesn’t exist? Economy of language sometimes requires custom words.

*Editor's Note: This and other Tesla-related posts appear on TeslaMondo. Check it out here.