Tesla Model 3

Tesla Model 3

EPISODE V: RAISING THE BAR

Make that three bars. Equal length. Getting right to the action, what did we learn yesterday, and what is Tesla still holding to the vest?

Demand: It’s stronger than many anticipated.

“Won’t look like other cars”: True enough. Cab-very-forward, made possible by “firewall” manipulation, which in turn was made possible by the extreme unlikelihood of an engine fire. The result is copious room in the rear. Bubble-like greenhouse has panoramic rear glass akin to Model X’s panoramic front glass. Overall, it seems Tesla resisted the temptation to build a super-aggressive but impractical vehicle. Instead, it’s athletic enough while offering good visibility and spaciousness. At this point, Tesla has enough street cred that it doesn’t need to shove “aggressive” down our throats. Everyone knows Teslas haul ass. Also notable: The ICE masquerade is over. No more fake grilles for Tesla. This means no nose or mouth. Just eyes. This will take some getting used to. But hey, we’re witnessing the evolution of the automobile. Some double-takes are expected.

  • Next-generation technology: No mention.
  • User interface: No mention. As with the Model X prototype, the screen isn’t yet mounted in the dashboard. LG is a new supplier, according to this morning’s rumors.
  • Powertrain options: Rear drive and dual motor, according to a Tesla engineer who conducted a Periscoped test drive. Musk said nothing about this before making a sudden Exit Stage Left. Was this engineer supposed to let that info slip?
  • Range, Safety, Performance: At least 215 miles, at least five stars in all categories, and at most six seconds to 60 mph.
  • Market response: TSLA is moving violently upward as TeslaMondo goes to press. Remember: Short people got no reason to live.
Further reading:

Episode I: The Impostor Episode II: We Build, We Fight Episode III: Tesla Energy is Born Episode IV: Winged Assassins

*Editor's Note: This and other Tesla-related posts appear on TeslaMondo. Check it out here.