DoE: Clean Energy Ballers Drive Electric Cars

2019 Chevy Volt


Tesla Model X

Tesla Model X

In a continued effort to further motivate consumers to flock toward clean energy, the Department of Energy (DoE) has introduced a “Clean Energy Ballers” initiative. Apparently, among others things like wearing socks with sandals and using algae surfboards, driving electric cars is one of the best ways to be a clean energy baller. “Low carbon swag” is said to be the key here. The DoE adds a disclaimer:

EV Charging Station

EV Charging Station

“Before we begin, we’d first like to warn you that side effects from the clean energy baller lifestyle include a reduction in carbon emissions (you’re welcome, planet Earth!) and frequent use of the latest technologies while increasing your popularity amongst others.”

The silly, but markedly true, post goes on to include four reasons clean energy ballers drive electric cars. Keep in mind that noisy engine revving, oil changes, and slow acceleration do not fit in the “coolness” of the baller lifestyle.

The DoE’s four reasons justifying why ballers drive electric cars are simple:

  • Electric Cars Are Fast
  • Electric Cars Look Cool
  • Elecric Cars Are High-Tech
  • Electric Cars Get You VIP Service

Electric cars have instantaneous torque, provided by the battery. There’s no waiting for combustion. Tesla has reached the pinnacle of this with its 100 kWh battery pack pushing the Model S sedan and the larger Model X SUV 0-60 in well under 3 seconds. “Ludicrously baller” according to the DoE.

In terms of looks, electric carmakers must focus more energy on aerodynamics to help assure that the vehicles will achieve every mile of range possible. There is a wide variety of electric car styling out there, from “spaceship-like” to traditional, but it seems that most border on a more clean and futuristic façade.

High-tech is an obvious component of electric vehicles. The battery and hybrid technology in and of itself is at the cutting edge and drastically improving. Complete this with self-driving features, summon modes, apps, over-the-air updates, etc. “How baller is that?!” asks the DoE.

Hmm … VIP service? The DoE points out that electric cars attract attention. The vehicles are conversation starters that will “build up your posse” and get you “an entourage”. Nice! Some states offer special lanes for carpool vehicles and if you drive a low-emission vehicle you may be able to use them regardless of the size of your posse. Parking spaces that include electric car chargers are often up front, closer to businesses and places where the action is.

The DoE encourages you to:

“Find a charging station near you, and remember to keep on balling!”


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35 Comments on "DoE: Clean Energy Ballers Drive Electric Cars"

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WTF?…maybe I’m too old to understand lol

lol…. +1

I wish I was a baller
I wish I had a girl who looked good, I would call her
I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat
And a six four Impala

A sexist comment from some old folk at DOE trying to show they are hip, and failing.

Just count how many time the word “baller” is dropped … this no mic drop moment.

Urban dic … has this to say;

In fairness, Urban dictionary has an awful definition for every word in the English language.

Using old terminology is just a plain TRIGGER!

The DoE is perhaps jealous that Tesla has made such a dent in energy use (and soon in generation and store) without much if any of their help and has mocked the DoE’s crazy initiatives that were cooked through the years (cough, hydrogen, cough).

So now the DoE are trash-talking the people who taking full advantage of EVs?



Tesla has only increased energy use thanks to their phantom power draw when plugged in.

Really hoping they finish correcting that, it’s a small stain on an otherwise amazing product.

[citation needed]

Rolling up to a stop, near a Valet parking lot attendant, in my 2013 Nissan Leaf, gets me absolutely ZERO “VIP Treatment”!!! They look away, after seeing it’s not a Tesla, and just chuckle “No Baller Here” and wave me on to self park!!!
Thanks DOE!!! “I Got This” !!!!

Would someone please define the term “Baller”?
I guess I lead a more sheltered life than I thought. I’m so confused…

Baller is slang for living a wealthy lifestyle while outwardly and publicly displaying your wealth in an over-the top way.

This is purely an effort at bringing humor into an otherwise dry and serious discussion about green issues. If the DOE were posting this on, they would put a “/sarc” flag at the end of it. So don’t think about it too hard.

So don’t take it to seriously.

But if you feel like adding this new word into your vocabulary, be aware that “Baller” somewhat implies the flashing of new wealth, like what happens when “Ghetto Fabulous” actually hits real money, and decides to “Make it Rain”. It somewhat implies Jersey Shore types, or rappers (either black or white) burning through more money than they know what to do with, trying to emulate what they think it would be like to have “Wolf of Wall Street” type wealth. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but if you meet with a CEO of a major US corporation, and start throwing around how “baller” the CEO is, it is possible that CEO might take it wrong….

Seriously. I’m gonna have to go and trade my Volt in for one of those recalled VW diesels.

I am also old so I had to look it up.
“Baller” according to urban dictionary originally meant really good basketball players, who typically become professionals.

The second definition is this:

“One whose person has been fully and successfully established in numerous social circles”

HBO also has a popular show called “Ballers”.
In short, the term is a complement.

From Google: Baller: extremely good or impressive; excellent.

“he must have some pretty baller pick-up lines to be reeling in all those ladies”

The baller term is not for picking up ladies that term is a player…
And in that culture ladies are refered to as b*****s…

I read this discussion of fairly light hearted fare and get even more amused realizing that it is commentary from the federal government. I am then reminded of my domicile state of Florida where Governor Rick Scott has apparently BANNED anyone who works for him in using the phrase ‘climate change’.
Many of you may remember that Rick Scott was mentioned as a possible VP candidate for the GOP ticket. I suspect it safe to say that if the GOP wins the White House and retains the Senate in November, light hearted discussion of this nature will be censored. I hope you will all do your duty at the ballot box to ensure that our electric vehicles are not moved into the nether regions of the political consciousness.

Yes, Vote, Please! Remember, it was just a little over 9 1/2 years ago, that the POTOUS at the time, stuck his head under the hood of two EVs, on The White House South Lawn. He mentioned something about the vehicles helping reach the goal of using 20% less gasoline in 10 years. Looks like that was a bridge too far, to be able to cross.

The “Mission Accomplished” date is coming soon on Febuary 2017! Vote early, and often, for a new Commander in Chief, who will take “I am the Decider” to the EV masses and mainstream!

My Bad, only over 60% retail gasoline reduction in the last decade!

Baller is a slang term from the hip hop rap culture essentialy meaning you are better than everyone else…
Ballers however are the last people to drive EVs or care about green energy…
Real ballers more likely drive Cadalic Esclades with 22″ wheels and they allow you to listen to their music three cars over…

I don’t listen to hip hop 🙂

Do whales drive $150,000 Tesla Model X’s? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

HBO Ballers did feature a BMW i8 last season.

We were driving along in our tesla when we saw an i8 turn the corner. We were all like: Wow look at that, looks awesome. Then he pulled into a gas station while we kept going. We’re like, nah…

^^ *laugh*

For a good laugh, watch someone try to get in/out of one, especially the back seat.

And the process of opening the hood is a fun watch. You have to imagine the Benny Hill theme music.

“Dwayne Johnson: Guys Should Grow a Pair Before Driving a Hybrid”

•Electric Cars Are Fast (Applies to Tesla and the i8 which isn’t pure BEV)
•Electric Cars Look Cool (Same as above)
•Elecric Cars Are High-Tech (Same as above)
•Electric Cars Get You VIP Service (Same as above)

Were I US taxpayer, I’d be annoyed that my tax dollars were paying for this offputting “initiative”, and try to get whoever came up with it fired.
It’s not just wrong, it’s too stupid to be funny, and IMO so clearly wrong factually that it’ll be counterproductive.

Well electric cars with the exception of Tesla don’t look cool. most of them are compact fugly looking clown cars or bland appliances.

Daniel lol I really couldn’t give a flying rat’s arse what you think of my 2016 Leaf SV lol
But I’ll give you $5 to wash it for me…white cars get so dirty

Daniel in a few years…

You talkin’ ’bout my Leaf? 🙁

The government should NEVER try to make something look “cool” . . . especially NEVER try to use the kid’s lingo. It never comes off as authentic or actually cool.

If any campaign like that started to succeed, that word would be quickly ostracized by the kids.