Chevrolet Announces Full Specs For 2016 Volt – Satire

JUL 15 2015 BY ERIC LOVEDAY 16

2016 Chevrolet Volt

2016 Chevrolet Volt

2016 Chevrolet Volt

2016 Chevrolet Volt

Autoblopnik’s satirical coverage of the automotive industry makes us chuckle.

Here’s an abbreviated look at Autoblopnik’s “Allen Bingefarter” discussing “key specifications” for the upcoming 2016 Chevrolet Volt:

Vehicle name: Chevoltlet Volt
Type: Expended-range elected vehicle
Key competitors: Toyota Previous Plug-In, Ford Seamax Emergency, Nissan Leave
Charge time: 8 years/100,000 miles
Battery warranty: 430 miles or 4.5 hours (estimated)
Block: Cast-out aluminum
Head: $20, no kissing
Fuel type: Yes
Motor output: 149 kW @ 102 MPG3
Electric-only range: 8.4 seconds
Estimated fuel economy: Optional
Standard equipment: Yes (late availability)

For full specs, click the Autobopnik link below

“Allen Bingefarter” claims that he had a bad phone connection while on the conference call discussing Volt specs with General Motors, so perhaps there was some misinterpretation of the data.

Source: Autoblopnik

Categories: Chevrolet

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16 Comments on "Chevrolet Announces Full Specs For 2016 Volt – Satire"

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Bob A

Head: $20, no kissing

What new features is GM including these days???

Jelloslug

Ford Seamax

Bill Howland

Saucey, assuming you mean the Blonde Head Engineer.

For $20, I assume you got this straight from the Horse’s Mouth.

mpgood

A few typos in there.

Anon

There are FAR more effective ways to mock GM, than were utilized in this piece. I give their effort a D-.

ffbj

Yeah, just a crude effort:
Vehicle name: Chevoltlet Volt
Type: Expended-range elected vehicle
Key competitors: Leaf/Prius/Bangers&Mash
Charge time: It Depends.
Battery warranty: Of course (estimated)
Warranty: Drive Train, Major Components.*
Block: Yes.
Head: Yes, Please.
Fuel type: Bubble and Squeak.
Motor output: 149 kW @ 102 MPG3
Electric-only range: To infinity and beyond!
Estimated fuel economy: It’s an estimate.
Standard equipment: Yes (late availability)
*ignition switch not included.

I give them a C+ and an E for effort.

Anon

I don’t grade on a curve. 😛

Speculawyer

“Ford Seamax Emergency, Nissan Leave” . . . LOL!

Was this voice-to-text auto-transcribed or is GM becoming super-snarky! 😉

jimjam

Go On a test Drive With Allen…..Better Hope He Doesn’t G0 0n a Farting Binge…During the That drive….he he he he he he he

Speculawyer

Especially if you are in the back seat of a BMW i3 where you can’t open the window and you can’t open the door. You’re trapped.

jimjam

Never Ever Paid for Head: Never Will…, But I Paid For an automotive Cylinder Head…Cuz I Love Cars..

To funny … LOL!!

“Charge time: 8 years/100,000 miles”

“Battery warranty: 430 miles or 4.5 hours (estimated)”

“Head: $20, no kissing”
… this one seems a bit NSFW and offensive!

Robb Stark

Pics are NSFW not humor.

Unlike some other BEV/Green car sites insideevs is not afraid of auto show hotties or naughty sense of humor.

The Itakeoffense Police is free not come to any site they find offensive.

Pushmi-Pullyu

The humor may be both rather obscure for the general public and a bit juvenile, but still, I want to know more about those lithium-iron batteries! 😀

Ambulator

That was a bit of an odd note. BYD uses them. They are more properly called lithium iron phosphate batteries, but BYD tends to leave off the lithium and phosphate parts.

Hahaha! I am a Volt owner & am besotted in love with it. And, I enjoy poking fun at things I love. (Reverence & irreverence are two sides of the same coin!) Though this was a mediocre effort, it’s still goofy fun.