Autoblopnik Exclusive On Tesla Model 4
Autoblopnik claims to have obtained “exclusive” details on Tesla’s never-before-announced Model 4.
These details reportedly come direct from the top man Elon Musk.
“The new Model 4 will be a small city car with a shorter range suitable to urban centers. And it will be priced well below the Model 3. We’ll sell it for $22,995.”
Editor’s Note: Not everything in life has to be serious…one of our favorite automotive ‘diversions’ is Autoblopnik – we hope you enjoy a momentary break from all the news of the day as well.
As Autoblopnik states:
“When asked why the proposed Model 4 looked familiar (see image above), Musk confirmed that they were outsourcing the vehicle.”
Why outsourcing? Well, Musk told Autoblopnik the following:
“The Gigafactory will be producing Model 3s at capacity and the Fremont plant will be building the S and X, so we’ve had to look to outside suppliers. Let’s just say we found an automaker whose circumstances have changed recently, and was willing to cut us a good deal.”
Never fear though, as Tesla will put some of its own uniqueness in the
Mitsubishi i-MiEV Model 4. Musk explains:
“Yes, yes, of course we will. It’ll have Supercharging, and some Autopilot functions, and it’ll have doors that open into the sixth dimension using liquid hinges, and it will have a passenger seat that cures cancer.”
Musk was willing to spill more details but his “PR handler” apparently put an end to the discussion, saying:
“He just doesn’t know when to shut the f**k up,” said Tesla spokesperson Tess LaSpokesperson. “Oh, are we on the record? I mean, uh… yes. Cancer-curing passenger seat. Of course.”
Autoblopnik wanted to gauge reaction among Tesla Model 3 reservation holders so the “news” outlet reached out to Milton Harshburp who says that Elon Musk knows what’s best for the world:
“Am I upset?” I waited on line for six hours to put down a $1,000 deposit on what I thought was going to be Tesla’s most affordable car. If this were any other company, I’d be pissed beyond measure and calling my lawyer to look into a class-action lawsuit. But this is Tesla, and Elon knows what’s best for us, and I believe in Elon.”
Milton ended the discussion abruptly as he had to go pick up some parts for his newly acquired Model X:
“…I need to go pick up some parts that have fallen off my Model X, that is if I can get the doors to open.”