7 Rules For Racing Your Tesla Model S P85D


YouTube user bigtruckseriesreview is frustrated with the ass-whoppings that Dodge SRT Hellcat drivers have experienced at the race track.

No Contest

No Contest

To put an end to this, he’s listed 7 rules for Hellcat owners that he says will help the Hellcat avoid embarrassment at the track:

  • Only use the red key
  • Use the shift-light system
  • You need wider rear tires
  • Do not race anything with AWD
  • Do not race anything with retracting spoilers
  • Do not race electric vehicles
  • Do not race any jet aircraft

At least two rules were broken in that race against the Tesla Model S P85D.

It’s a known fact that the RWD Hellcat is challenging to pilot to its potential, whereas the P85D is simply a mash-the-pedal-to-go racer.

Here we present our 7 rules for racing your Tesla Model S P85D:

  • Realize there’s no key required.  While your opponent searches for this thing called a “key,” give him/her a smirk.
  • Race anything that requires shifting
  • Stickier track tires aren’t really necessary
  • Race anything with RWD
  • If it plugs in & has a retracting spoiler (examples – Porsche 918 Spyder, McLaren P1), then you might want to consider sitting it out
  • Race ICE vehicles and electrics, but watch out for anything electric on two wheels
  • Go ahead, race a jet aircraft.  Then send the video our way.  We’d love to see it, regardless of the result.

Basically, if you into racing your P85D, then go for it. Chances of losing are slim.  Just be on the lookout for those million dollar plug-ins (Porsche & McLaren) and think twice before challenging an electric two-wheeler.

Or maybe 7 rules really boil down to just 1…”stamp on the accelerator” – see video below

Hat tip to Mark H!

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14 Comments on "7 Rules For Racing Your Tesla Model S P85D"

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Basically – just hammer the go pedal down to the floor while you point it to the next line/light!

May I add, It looks as if the acceleration times are better in the P85D (any Model S really) when it has a higher state of charge.. Say ~90-100%, instead of a low state of charge.. Say ~10- ~50%.
The acceleration times between high and low states of charge are not huge by any means… But that small amount is enough to where anyone looking to shave off as much time as possible, to consider having a full charge or almost a full charge.

But the weight of the additional electrons might slow you down? 😉

And watch out for White Zombies

I was thinking the same thing!

rule nr 3: SMILE

I will never understand neophyte drag racers who don’t grasp the simple concept of “feathering the throttle out of the hole”. Unless you have uber sticky tires (aka fat slicks), no low end torque, or all-wheel drive you are just going to blow the tires off. Of course most drag races are won and lost in the first 60 feet (hence the emphasis on 60 foot times) if the cars are at all reasonably matched power wise. We’ve seen the AWD advantage for years in most factory cars – look at how the Audis have faired against their more powerful RWD German counterparts in many cases.
AWD and electric makes everyone a drag race hero…:(

LOL dude is butthurt so bad the lolcat got spanked

Rule number 1: Don’t do races longer than 400m

Rule number 2: Don’t do races involving turns

It will be interesting to see the result when Tesla makes a new gen Roadster or a dedicated race vehicle like for Formel E or some other race track based championship or cometition.

For your #1 Tesla is limited, does not mean it can’t reach higher speeds
For your #2 Tesla P85D is better in curves than P85+ and experts reviews qualify Tesla a better handling in curves than Mercedes S class.
If you meant to compare to a Ferrari well is a diferent segment.

Rule #8 for Hellcat drivers….attach rubber hoses to exhaust pipes and place other end inside your vehicle and go for it.

Attach rubber hoses, up your noses

More butthurt whining from the guy that brought you “7 COMMANDMENTS for DODGE SRT HELLCAT OWNERS”. Too Funny!-


Bless Tesla for raising the profile of EVs into the stratosphere.

Wow . . . when you have gearheads crying “Do not race electric vehicles” then they’ve capitulated.